the-dick-lord-levi:

So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.” 

And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.  

(via carryonmywaywarddson)

literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

(via shorten)

relahvant:

sykeopath:

what


ONWARD SEBASTIAN

relahvant:

sykeopath:

what

ONWARD SEBASTIAN

(Source: lavagoth, via peregrinapples)

eluciidate:

pretending to be sober at convenience stores

(via fengshit)

jesusinc:

I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!

(via zacharydacquiri)

(via shorten)

kurunggirl:

Moonrise Kingdom

kurunggirl:

Moonrise Kingdom

(via corgi-corndog)

tequilafemina:

A few minutes ago my coworker said “The sexual position formerly known as 69 will now be referred to as 96. Due to the economy, the price of eating out has gone up.”

My boss is still crying.

(via en-igmatic)

johnnysboots:

Johnny Depp as Glen Lantz (A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984)

johnnysboots:

Johnny Depp as Glen Lantz (A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984)

(via artistsuffer)

(Source: icymomo, via reblogrne)

(Source: ugh, via iikemyscars)

(Source: 20aliens, via andrewquo)